Gitalongs: SELFISH ALTRUISM

When my father informed me that altruism was actually selfish, I was horrified!  He maintained that the only reason we do nice things for others is out of duty or to make ourselves feel good. It took me years to admit that, indeed, when I am intuitively and spontaneously pleasant and generous it’s because I like being that way. It makes me feel better to be that way. It makes me happy to see other people happy. My life is easier, more pleasant.

Is this realism or cynicism? I reluctantly concede that perhaps Dad had a point. Maybe the closest we can come to the total altruism of giving up our life for another -  as on a cross or the Titanic, or in military combat - is Enlightened Self-Interest? Are we only doing good to do well?

Poetry: GIVEN TO

by Ruth Berbermeyer

I never feel more given to
than when you take from me –
when you understand the joy I feel
giving to you.

And you know my giving isn’t done
to put you in my debt,
but because I want to live the love
I feel for you.

To receive with grace
may be the greatest giving.
There’s no way I can separate
the two.

When you give to me,
I give you my receiving.
When you take from me, I feel so
given to.

-

Song “Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer
from the album, Given To.