Poetry: GIVEN TO

by Ruth Berbermeyer

I never feel more given to
than when you take from me –
when you understand the joy I feel
giving to you.

And you know my giving isn’t done
to put you in my debt,
but because I want to live the love
I feel for you.

To receive with grace
may be the greatest giving.
There’s no way I can separate
the two.

When you give to me,
I give you my receiving.
When you take from me, I feel so
given to.

-

Song “Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer
from the album, Given To.

The Kitchen Sink: CRUSTY SAYINGS

With apologies to whomever may have said this before the source cited:

“It takes two people to create a work of art - one to paint and one to tell him when to stop.”     Snowden Hodges


My friend Snowden is Head of the Art Department at Windward Community College and an established Hawai`i artist. His remark applies equally well to writing.

Crusty Sayings collected by Abby Freeborn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. For permission to use or correct a source contact randmxcentric@gmail.com

Gitalongs: THE WANTS/NEEDS GAME

We become adults when we finally get it that, once we pubesce, there is no one on the planet whose job it is to meet our “emotional needs” except ourselves. In the first place, there are no such things as emotional “needs”--- “wants”  a-plenty, but no needs. A need is something we cannot remain alive without. The needs list is short: food, water, shelter from prolonged exposure to hostile elements, and sufficient warmth to maintain functional body temperature. We can live without any emotional interactions at all - as hermits and recluses demonstrate - and still enjoy emotions. The only emotion we actually need in order to survive is fear which, in appropriate doses, warns us of real or imagined danger.

It’s okay to have emotional wants. Emotional experience enriches our lives. And it’s okay to ask for help from a friend if we're feeling stymied, lonely, or vulnerable, and want to connect on some emotional level. But when we try to control (expect, demand, and/or manipulate) others to meet our wants by insisting that our wants are needs we are being dishonest and childish - refusing, or somehow unable, to grow up. That is a recipe for frustration because, aside from the protective/instructive aspects of raising kids safely,  the only person one is entitled to control is oneself.  And that effort is challenge enough!

The Wants/Needs Game by Abby Freeborn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. For permission to use contact randmxcentric@gmail.com

Bread Crumbs: ALWAYS UP FOR A PARTY?

I worked with a woman who seemed desperate to do a lot of nothing. Her family hired me to "keep her active." They were distressed that she was “giving up.”  When I visited, she was blandly disinterested in whatever I suggested. The house was always immaculate, the TV was always on - but the only thing she watched with interest was The Dog Whisperer.

She was a different person when any of her family stopped by – animated and eager to please – agreeing with whatever they suggested. When they left, I would prompt her to follow their latest suggestion. “Not today,” she would say. “I’m too tired.” It quickly became clear to me that she had no intention of fulfilling her family’s desire for her to act younger than she felt. She only made that effort when they fulfilled her hunger for their company.

The Kitchen Sink: A RICH FINANCIAL DIET, Part I

I am a retired social worker who loves to travel. Two thirds of the IRA that I funded at $600/month while working was wiped out by Wall Street back in 2000 something. I now live on Social Security, a small pension and the annuitization of what was left of my IRA. Fifteen percent (15%) of my modest monthly income goes for health care. I am better off than many of my fellow sliders on the slippery end of the well-under-$50K slope because I spend every dollar twice.

I love to travel and I have several tips on how to live a champagne lifestyle on a soda-pop budget. These tips require some steady income, maturity, intelligence, discipline and vigilance, but these are traits we all need to develop.

The Kitchen Sink: A RICH FINANCIAL DIET, Part II

How did you do with Part I? Those suggestions really take more thought than time, once you get to know your spending needs and put a rhythm to your finances. Now we move to my favorite part - gaming banks and airlines. Spend Every Dollar Twice.

I repeat: 19. Take advantage of credit card offers, sign-up rewards, and benefits. 

This is actually the secret that turns my soda-pop into champagne. But it takes good impulse control, planning and vigilance. As you know, the credit card industry counts on you to overuse the convenience of deferred payment that they offer in hopes that you will carry debt that earns them exorbitant interest and makes them lots of money. If you fall prey to their ploy, you can pay way more than double what your purchases cost over time. I get a kick out of exploiting the banks' and airlines' eagerness to have my business.  And they thank me for it.

Wordage: FREELY BORN WORDS

Contributions Welcomed and Credited
Unless otherwise attributed Freely Born Words are created by Abby Freeborn and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. If you have a different source for any of the words listed above, please comment so proper acknowledgement  can be made.

Ignoromnibus (ig`nor`omni`bus) - (n) a person who knows nothing about everything and doesn’t know it (e.g., “That new freshman loves to show off, but he’s a real ignoromnibus.”)

Ignorrant (ig`nor`rant) - (n) a monologue that continues despite demonstrations of boredom by the audience (e.g., “Today I had to listen to a twenty minute ignorant about the President being a foreigner.”)

Ignorrant (ig`nor`rant - (adj.) 1. an argument that overlooks a preponderance of available evidence (e.g., “Politicians often make ignorrant assertions.”); 2. someone who is willfully inattentive (e.g., “She heard you; she’s just being ignorrant.”)