Let's use use your hand, palm up, to explain the six survival emotions of our primitive brain.
Let your palm represent LOVE –- acceptance, attraction, protectiveness, nurture are a few manifestations of love:
Let your pinkie represent JOY –- confidence, peace, happiness, contentment are manifestations of joy;
Let your ring finger represent GRIEF –- sadness, loss, emptiness, heartfelt angst, vulnerability;
Let your middle finger represent PAIN –- physical and/or emotional discomfort, feeling vulnerable;
Let your pointer represent FEAR –- uncertainty, lack of control, vulnerability, fight or flight;
And let your thumb represent ANGER –- hot rage or cold fury, a protective/defensive response to Grief, Pain, or Fear.
Now make a hard fist.
When you make your hand into a fist, you will see that love is hidden and that anger is wrapped over Grief, Pain and Fear, the three emotions that make us feel vulnerable. Joy is curled but does not need the protection of Anger. It is often Love's prompting to restore Joy's confidence and contentment that motivates the lifting of Anger. Raise your pinkie; feel it pull on Grief. Ask “What is underneath this Anger? What am I sad about, hurting about, afraid of, that I need this Anger?” Anger will begin to fade when you identify and address its cause.
I submit that the myriad feelings we experience are all based upon these primitive survival emotions. When caught up in any feeling, it is useful to take a few minutes to discover what primal emotion your present feeling relates back to. Sometimes it will relate back to more than one. Is your excitement for Love, Joy, Fear, Grief or Pain? When your boyfriend came back from his last tour in Iraq and asked you to marry him, the surprise, the happiness, the tears were probably related to both Love and Joy. Are you feeling grouchy because a Joy has ended (Grief), are you furious because your husband forgot your birthday (Pain) or are you irritable with the family because you don't know why you're having fleeting, frequent episodes of feeling faint and short of breath. (Fear)?
Many people felt all three vulnerable emotions at once on 9/11/01. Some dealt with that traumatizing shock directly and constructively, gradually reducing the emotional charge on the Grief, Pain and Fear. But such a heavy dose of vulnerability, seared by adrenalin, promoted by the government response, and fed by the media, has proven impossible for some to unravel down to it's basics. One must feel safe to self-examine and give up the protection of Anger. Sadly, for some safety is no more. So the Anger festers, uncomforted by time, reason, study, discussion, exposure to peace-loving American Muslims or other such non-violent palliatives. These unfortunate sufferers use a broad brush to condemn the Islamic faith as a radical Jihadist predator, and all Muslims as potential terrorists. They often preach Fear and promote ineffective and/or questionable defenses against the multitudinous enemy they perceive as the only sensible, valid way of life since 9/11 - as if Osama bin Laden invented terrorism or guerrilla warfare. This sad and possibly dangerous distortion is typical, however, of positions taken and decisions made in a state of high emotional excitement.
Usually, if you are able to explore your feelings, especially your angry feelings, what you find upon reflection leads to a deeper understanding of what makes you tick and may lead to more direct ways to address the discomfort and the problem as well. Don’t deflect, be direct. If you express your sadness that the Joy has ended, if you give voice to your disappointment and hurt that your birthday was overlooked, you may receive comfort. If you are afraid that you are ill, you may get yourself to a doctor. If you are one who has adopted Fear of, and Anger toward, Islam and all Muslims as your worldview and lifestyle, you might want to find a safe non-emotional way to reduce that corrosive discomfort such as talking with someone you trust who has moved beyond the Fear and Anger.
Let your palm represent LOVE –- acceptance, attraction, protectiveness, nurture are a few manifestations of love:
Let your pinkie represent JOY –- confidence, peace, happiness, contentment are manifestations of joy;
Let your ring finger represent GRIEF –- sadness, loss, emptiness, heartfelt angst, vulnerability;
Let your middle finger represent PAIN –- physical and/or emotional discomfort, feeling vulnerable;
Let your pointer represent FEAR –- uncertainty, lack of control, vulnerability, fight or flight;
And let your thumb represent ANGER –- hot rage or cold fury, a protective/defensive response to Grief, Pain, or Fear.
Now make a hard fist.
When you make your hand into a fist, you will see that love is hidden and that anger is wrapped over Grief, Pain and Fear, the three emotions that make us feel vulnerable. Joy is curled but does not need the protection of Anger. It is often Love's prompting to restore Joy's confidence and contentment that motivates the lifting of Anger. Raise your pinkie; feel it pull on Grief. Ask “What is underneath this Anger? What am I sad about, hurting about, afraid of, that I need this Anger?” Anger will begin to fade when you identify and address its cause.
I submit that the myriad feelings we experience are all based upon these primitive survival emotions. When caught up in any feeling, it is useful to take a few minutes to discover what primal emotion your present feeling relates back to. Sometimes it will relate back to more than one. Is your excitement for Love, Joy, Fear, Grief or Pain? When your boyfriend came back from his last tour in Iraq and asked you to marry him, the surprise, the happiness, the tears were probably related to both Love and Joy. Are you feeling grouchy because a Joy has ended (Grief), are you furious because your husband forgot your birthday (Pain) or are you irritable with the family because you don't know why you're having fleeting, frequent episodes of feeling faint and short of breath. (Fear)?
Many people felt all three vulnerable emotions at once on 9/11/01. Some dealt with that traumatizing shock directly and constructively, gradually reducing the emotional charge on the Grief, Pain and Fear. But such a heavy dose of vulnerability, seared by adrenalin, promoted by the government response, and fed by the media, has proven impossible for some to unravel down to it's basics. One must feel safe to self-examine and give up the protection of Anger. Sadly, for some safety is no more. So the Anger festers, uncomforted by time, reason, study, discussion, exposure to peace-loving American Muslims or other such non-violent palliatives. These unfortunate sufferers use a broad brush to condemn the Islamic faith as a radical Jihadist predator, and all Muslims as potential terrorists. They often preach Fear and promote ineffective and/or questionable defenses against the multitudinous enemy they perceive as the only sensible, valid way of life since 9/11 - as if Osama bin Laden invented terrorism or guerrilla warfare. This sad and possibly dangerous distortion is typical, however, of positions taken and decisions made in a state of high emotional excitement.
Usually, if you are able to explore your feelings, especially your angry feelings, what you find upon reflection leads to a deeper understanding of what makes you tick and may lead to more direct ways to address the discomfort and the problem as well. Don’t deflect, be direct. If you express your sadness that the Joy has ended, if you give voice to your disappointment and hurt that your birthday was overlooked, you may receive comfort. If you are afraid that you are ill, you may get yourself to a doctor. If you are one who has adopted Fear of, and Anger toward, Islam and all Muslims as your worldview and lifestyle, you might want to find a safe non-emotional way to reduce that corrosive discomfort such as talking with someone you trust who has moved beyond the Fear and Anger.
The Six Primitive Emotions by Abby Freeborn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. For permission to use contact randmxcentric@gmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment