We all knew Mom was dying of lung cancer. When we arrived for the family reunion that she had billed as a prelude to my youngest brother’s wedding. we found her sitting on the porch of her island home looking out over the water, smoking and sipping her wine. (“No sense quitting now!”) Mom’s siblings, who hadn’t spoken in years, had put aside their hostilities and were bustling about, being helpful, cracking family jokes, and trotting out their different versions of family events. Those three days were amazing - more fun than we’d had together in years!
Sometimes Mom would get tired and go to bed for a rest or to have some quiet time with one of us. Her older brother, a soft hearted, sympathetic soul who was prone to weeping, came out of one such interview looking stunned. He later told us that he had asked Mom how she could be so cheerful in the face of death and she had replied, “Oh for God’s sake, Phil, we all die. Difference ’tween you and me is I know what’s gonna take me and approximately when. You’re the one with reason to worry 'cause you don't know, but it’s a waste of a good time.”
A few days later my family left, then the newly weds stopped by on their way to their honeymoon. The next night my other brother brought over dinner. The following morning she told her husband she was having trouble breathing. He took her to the hospital and she died an hour later. She was always good at dealing with reality, making ends meet and tying up loose ends.
O Fear of dying can spoil a great party, a day, or a lifetime. Facing death can empower.
The Last Empowerment by Abby Freeborn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. For permission to use contact randmxcentric@gmail.com
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